Admittedly, we live in a pretty self-indulgent society these days. Who can go a day without posting something to Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc just so we can publicize our thoughts and experiences to others? And how many times do we give in to that little voice that says, "buy that purse – you deserve it!" But I'm convinced that in all the important ways, we tend to make ourselves last on the priority list. We chase validation online. Shopping masks real needs.

Work takes over our lives. Or children do. Or obligations. Especially with women – most of us seem to have that nagging little voice following us around, asking if we've said "yes" to things we'd rather not do out of a sense of obligation or to make others happy or comfortable. Obligation overrides our genuine desires daily. Exhaustion feels normal without scheduled rest. Rest restores what obligation depletes. Saying no creates space for authentic yes.

(Like taking a nap vs. volunteering at the school, or staying late every night at work to finish a project when we would rather read a book, or being hesitant to express our needs to a boyfriend or husband when it's easier to let them do what makes them happy.) I don't know what advice to give here, other than we owe it to ourselves to be honest to that part of us that wants to be released. Selfishness differs from self-care. Silence protects, honesty connects.

We put aside our exhaustion, or stress, or needs to make room for others so that we look like we're confident, capable, successful adults. But sometimes, we just want to put our needs first. That has its own path. That can give more to the people around us when it is fulfilled. Other people may rely on you, but you are the only one who can put yourself and your needs first once in a while. So maybe it's time. Fulfilled people give more. Permission comes from within.